Skip to main content
#
So Much Potential
site map
contact
our facebook page linkdin
Smile More ProjectLaughter YogaMindfulness & ResilienceIf You Always Do .........What is Communication?Sales StrategiesStaff: IssuesAbout BlogContact
 
Sunday, October 15 2017

Now that’s a phrase wide open for misinterpretation.   

Your immediate reaction could be to arc up. How dare you say that? 

What the….? 

Who made you the boss of me?

Let’s reframe it then………….

Thoughts and memories are intertwined.  The qualities of your thoughts will determine how they affect you.   Positive and negative thoughts will impact upon your core beliefs - how you see and feel about yourself, your looks, your abilities and your life.

Think of your memories as an ever increasing library of movies- ones that play out in your mind often repeatedly.

Imagine a happy event that you play over and over – the replaying in full colour and sound will keep it to the forefront of your mind, as fresh as when it happened.  There you are looking at it through your eyes, hearing in your mind the sounds, and feeling the emotions of that time. You will feel bliss, happy, smile, laughter- the positive effect will be felt in your mood and body.

Very good.

And the exact same process applies to the negative, the not so nice. How often do we allow ourselves to be imprisoned by the chain of our thoughts?  When people mentally suffer it is frequently manifested by feeling bad about the past.   By keeping it fresh through regular repetition in vivid “3D” full cinema surround sound of ‘what I did’ or ‘he/she did or said’.  Rather than having learned from the experience and letting it go.

Liken this to hiring a DVD. You get it home and put it on to the play only to discover that it is rubbish!  So what do you do?

Do you watch it right to the end because you paid to hire it?  Even though it is rubbish.

In fact, if it is a weekly hire- do you replay it again every night for the whole week- because you paid for a week’s hire?  Even though it is rubbish.

Would you recommend a friend hire and watch it?  Even though it is (still) rubbish.

Hopefully, the answer is that you would choose to not waste your time watching nonsense.  That you would press the stop button- and take the DVD back to the video store making a mental note to yourself that this is one movie never to be revisited by you.  That it can stay on the shelf out of sight and out of mind and gather dust for all you care.

Next time you find yourself running a well-worn memory movie script from the past in your head – stop, and make a note of how it affects you.  How it makes you feel.  How your emotions are effected.  How you feel physically.

I’ve used the movie analogy- but perhaps you have an ‘audio’ memory- a voice that ‘tells’ you how things are, or should be, or are not and never can be.  Whose voice is it telling you those things- a blast from the past perhaps that sets off your particular thought processes?  Then again you may experience a feeling, an emotional reaction to a trigger of some sort- a sight, a sound or a touch that sets in progress a particular train of thought.

How is the continued repetition serving you?  Is it beneficial- making you feel on top of the world – full of the incredible lightness of being?

Or feeling weighed down, tired and depressed with the going over and over of old stuff.  You can’t change history but you can change your perspective and in doing so, the impact you experience.

Remember that if you always do what you always did- you will always get what you always got.

So do yourself a big favour.  Start editing what memories and their ensuing thought processes warrant keeping, and especially the ones that do not! 

Get over yourself.

Footnote: In no way do I mean to treat lightly or to downplay the impact upon those who have experienced downright horrific past events in their lives. The sheer anguish wrought by these events takes its toll yet can be softened, brought to heel, even ended, once a sufferer has decided that enough is enough and that now is the time to take control.

Posted by: SMP So Much Potential AT 05:41 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, September 07 2017

You do not lose your peace because of circumstances but because of the struggle you create in your mind between what you think should be and what really is.

To be accepting is not about being passive.

It is to be aware of reality and to start working from there.” (Anon.)

Just as being happy is when your life conditions meet or exceed your expectations- being unhappy is when you or your life’s conditions don’t match your expectations.  Let me put that another way- when you or your life’s conditions don’t match your ‘shoulds’.  

You have choices:  Blame - An Event or Someone else or Yourself

Change your life condition/s – what it is you don’t like about your current state

                             Change your expectations, also known as your ‘shoulds’

I am overweight and unfit, I should be thinner – I don’t like my work, I should have a better job –  my finances are in a bad state, I should be better off – my kids don’t respect me, they should respect their  mother/ father.

You can continue to blame or you can change.

Life has its up and downs and one constant in life of which you can be certain is Change.  Something of an oxymoron really!  How you manage change to your best advantage is determined by whether or not you take hold of, and reinforce the belief in your own potential and set some goals in order to grow as an individual – and I place heavy emphasis on the term ‘individual’.

Realise and accept that there are aspects of life over which you have no control.  For example, other people and their behaviours, or global issues such as financial meltdowns - even the weather. 

So what is it you really seek right now?  Is NOW perhaps the time to re-evaluate what you thought ‘should be’? 

Are your core expectations a little faulty, perhaps unrealistic and needing some correction?  A readjustment of the “what you thought should be”, to what is truly achievable/ believable/ attainable and is right for You.

We all no doubt know at least one person who does ‘poor me’.  Invariably they run the same story of why they can’t or why they don’t do whatever it is they can’t or don’t do.  Because …blah de blah…..fill in the blanks.

Well guess what?  You move in the direction of what you consistently think about.  What you focus on is what you get- whether you want it or not!

A graphic example is ‘white line’ fever.  Driving on a dark highway- it is late at night, and you are starting to tire.  You fear you may drive off the road into a ditch or hit a tree, so you focus on the white line in the middle of the road.  Before too long you find yourself on the white line, or worse still, over it!  Picture yourself driving through a narrow tunnel - focus on the wall you want to avoid and you will find yourself veering toward the wall.  Instead, maintain your focus on the road ahead, toward the end of the tunnel which is your goal - successful transition through the tunnel.

The same principle applies to goals in life.  Focus clearly on where you are going and what you want to achieve.  Realign your focus away from the walls.  SMP offers a process that will support you as you learn how.  Learn how you can and will achieve your personal or professional results or goals. Those goals specific to you! 

Posted by: SMP So Much Potential AT 06:29 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, August 24 2017

By  on July 27, 2017 in Community Care ReviewEducation & Training

The Mental Health Commission of NSW has launched two new resources to work towards better mental health outcomes for older people.

The documents, Living Well in Later Life: The case for change and a Statement of Principles, set out the challenges that need to be addressed to support the mental health and wellbeing of older Australians.

The resources launched on Tuesday at NSW Parliament House, are the result of a collaboration between the Commission, older consumers and carers, and key organisations such as Council on the Ageing NSW, the NSW Ministry of Health, The Faculty of Psychiatry of Old Age (NSW Branch) of the RANZCP and the NSW Health Education and Training Institute.

The Commission is calling on all organisations working with older people to adopt the vision outlined in the principles statement and to embed these principles in their practices and programs.

“There is an unjustified sense of resignation when it comes to the mental health of older people – whether we are talking about recovery-based treatment for mental illness or initiatives to improve mental wellbeing and prevent disorders like depression and anxiety,” said NSW Mental Health Commissioner John Feneley.

Ageism, a lack of age-appropriate services and insufficient focus on suicide risk are some of the major barriers to improving the mental health outcomes of older people, said Mr Feneley.

The initiative highlights innovative case studies in older people’s mental health such as the development of peer worker models where older people with lived experience of mental illness provide support to other consumers.

The Living Well in Later Life statement of principles are:

  1. Promote prevention and early intervention in later life
  2. Eliminate ageism and related stigma and discrimination
  3. Increase participation of older people in the decisions which affect them
  4. Increase ageing-friendly, culturally informed and accessible services and information
  5. Reduce suicide and suicide risk in older people
  6. Implement person-centred, trauma-informed recovery-focused approaches, including older person peer worker models
  7. Increase the focus on mental health as being equally important as physical health in care responses for older people
  8. Increase the number and capacity of specialist services for older people in line with population ageing
  9. Increase workforce knowledge and skills
  10. Reduce service fragmentation and access barriers through improved governance, care pathways and funding models at federal, state and local levels
  11. Promote the quality use of medicines for older people

For more information on the project and to download the resources, visit the Mental Health Commission of NSW website.

Posted by: By Staff Writers on July 27, 2017 in Community Care Review, Education & Training AT 05:46 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, October 09 2016

Salespeople are among the highest paid professionals in our society. They are obviously important to our economy. Why then, do so few people respect sales as a career? Employee turnover is higher in sales positions than in almost any other occupation. Ask college students if they want to be salespeople and you get a resounding “NO!” And yet, a large number of them will be in a sales position shortly after graduation. To save face, they call themselves “sales engineers,” “sales consultants,” “marketing representatives,” “account representatives,” and so forth. But a rose by any other name…

Why the lack of popularity? Why is one of our oldest and most important business professions looked down upon by the public as well as the practitioners themselves? The answer, in one word, is – PRESSURE! Internal, tension-inducing pressure causes the salesperson and every client he contacts to feel uneasy, displeased, and distrustful of the interaction.

Traditional sales continues to focus on domination and control by the seller over the buyer. The salesperson is taught techniques by the hundreds: techniques to ask questions that always results in “Yes” answers, techniques to handle any objection, “Closing” techniques designed to maneuver even the most reluctant buyer into the position where he almost has to say “Yes” (“Uncle!”).

Is it any wonder that salespeople sometimes feel bad about themselves and their profession? When you spend your days persuading people in a manner which can be construed as exploitative and manipulative, you can’t help but feel bad about yourself. And when you cannot persuade the client to say “Yes,” even though the client may really have no need of the services, you are taught to analyze why you failed to close. Failed!

The nature of today’s buyers adds still more to this pressure on the traditional salesperson. They are better educated, have greater exposure to media information, and have developed a strong aversion to exploitation and manipulation. They have lost tolerance for the domineering salesperson who seeks to control them. You know or can imagine the tensions that arise as the salesperson – who also hates to be manipulated – tries to control buyers with standard dominating sales techniques.

Such pressure is NOT a natural function of selling. It does not have to go with the job. It shouldn’t and it doesn’t have to be this way! This is what collaborative selling is all about.

Collaborative selling overcomes the unhealthy, tension-laden sales environment. It is not a new bag of tricks. There are no surefire gimmicks. In fact, it is a fresh look at some very long-standing and respected techniques used in clinical psychology, counseling, consulting, negotiating, management, and marketing. These non-exploitative techniques have been adapted to the selling environment according to the philosophy that it is neither healthy nor productive in the long run to attempt to manipulate and control other people.

Collaborative selling allows the buyer to feel that he has “bought” – not that he has been “sold.” The client operates from a heightened position of openness and trust because the seller avoids exploitation. Instead of “He’ll tell you what you want to hear to get a sale,” the salesperson using these guidelines is known for telling them “How it is” – even if it means no sale today. In the long run, sales will increase; clients will be more loyal; and, if you’re the trust-building salesperson, you’ll feel better about yourself and your occupation.

Collaborative selling is different from traditional sales. it requires a different way of thinking about the customer, the product, and the goals of the sales process. The two lists which follow point out clearly some of the major differences. They are characteristics which result from careful application of their respective selling techniques. Do you recognize anyone in either list?

Traditional Selling

Salesperson oriented
Creates needs
“Talks at” client
Makes sales
Inflexible
Increases fear and distrust

Collaborative Selling

Client oriented
Discovers needs
“Discusses with” client
Makes customers
Adaptable
Increases trust and understanding

The list makes several obvious points. Traditional selling is salesperson oriented. The actions of the salesperson are directed toward fulfilling personal needs by the shortest, most direct route. The traditional salesperson “persuades” the customer to see his or her point of view – to MAKE THE SALE the overriding goal. In collaborative selling, however, your goal is to MAKE A CUSTOMER. Note that we said a “customer,” not necessarily a friend, but rather a person who respects your opinion, trusts your recommendations, and buys from you on a repeat basis because of that trust and respect for your professional approach.

Applying the principles of collaborative selling results in reduced levels of fear, distrust, and interpersonal tension that can create severe problems for salespeople. High levels of fear and distrust result in defensiveness, communication barriers, and non-productive and counter-productive games. When this situation occurs, tensions increase in both the salesperson and the client and the “objection game” begins. Gone is the attitude of true problem solving. Instead, the situation becomes one of persuasion, exploitation, and control. The client defensively thinks up as many objections as possible, justified or not, to prevent the salesperson from breaking through his defenses. The salesperson resorts to more techniques to counteract the objections. It is an interesting game for a cocktail party, but it certainly is not a way to make a career rewarding – monetarily or psychologically. In the objection game there are no winners – only losers.

But how do you actually SELL in this collaborative way? First, you need to practice and then apply a new set of sales processes. These are fairly easy to state, but like every new skill, they take real desire and practice to use in an easy, effective way.

Most sales transactions go through similar sales processes information gathering, and follow-through. What goes on within those processes, however, spells a dramatic difference between traditional and collaborative selling approaches. The amount of time generally spent at each of the four stages in the collaborative selling process is inversely proportional to that spent by the traditional salesperson. You can see this by referring to the figure.

THE SELLING PROCESS

INFORMATION GATHERING

At the information gathering stage, the salesperson and client find out if there is something the client needs or wants for which the salesperson may supply help.

In collaborative selling, more time is spent on defining needs than on any other stage in the sales process. In any form of consultative selling, the client’s problems or needs must be fully and accurately defined in order to effectively solve those problems or satisfy those needs. Then the rest of the processes evolve from a solid, accurate, informational base.

In traditional sales, this stage is limited. Much of the time is spent in “small talk” designed to break the ice. Little time is spent on defining the client’s specific needs. In fact, the traditionally manipulative salesperson often tells clients their needs and moves quickly into the presentation process. Of course, many sales are made in this way; but the foundation is weak, and the client is the loser.

PRESENTATION

Both traditional and collaborative selling methods allocate about equal amounts of time to the presentation process. That is where the similarity ends.

In collaborative selling, the presentation is both custom-tailored and participative. It is custom-tailored in that the salesperson only discusses the relevant aspects of the product or service as they relate to the specific needs or problems previously identified with the client’s help. In addition, only a limited number of features are presented and they are presented in their priority of importance to the client. This allows the salesperson to spend more time on each of the high priority features of the product. As a result, client interest tends to be high and to be maintained. After all, it is the client’s problem being tackled, not the salesperson’s product being pushed onto a defensive buyer. Each collaborative presentation process is unique because individual client problems and their priorities are unique. There’s no canned presentation here.

The collaborative presentation process is also participative. The client takes an active part in designing a new action plan to meet specific needs. The approach encourages the client to talk more and the salesperson to listen more.

The traditional manipulative salesperson enters the presentation process with little specific information on that client’s needs. Even if the client has outlined his or her needs, the salesperson has no established method to assure that the client has stated them accurately; the traditional method focuses primarily on the product. Often the presentation is “canned” – memorized – to assure that the salesperson covers the crucial features. Frequently, a shotgun approach is used where each feature of the product is touched on while the salesperson looks for features that will interest the client. If the first few features are not relevant, the client tends to “tune out” the salesperson before the relevant aspects of the product or service are presented. But if the client doesn’t listen, the presentation fails. Moreover, if the first few features are relevant, the time spent on them is no more than on the irrelevant features to follow. Another traditional approach is to focus on the assumed need of the client. That’s fine, if the guess is accurate; and some salespeople guess very well. If the guess is not accurate; the client’s time is wasted. The collaborative selling approach eliminates the guessing.

COMMITMENT

The commitment process is the focal point in terms of time spent by the traditional salesperson. It is proportionately the least time-consuming for the collaborative salesperson. The traditional approach takes so long at this level because it involves overcoming objections and closing the sale. In fact, the raising of objections is really an information gathering situation placed late in the process. The importance of this approach was aptly discussed in an early sales book called “The Sale Begins When the Customer Says No!” The feeling at that time was that when a client said NO, then the salesperson was really able to exhibit his or her selling (persuasion?) ability overcome the client’s objections, and close, close, close! What effect do you think this approach has on the client’s tension level – or the salesperson’s?

The commitment process in collaborative selling is where the agreed-upon solution begins to be implemented. It does just the opposite as that of the traditional approach – it removes pressure; it occurs in an atmosphere of mutual trust and respect. No separation occurs between “selling” and “closing.” With client problems, needs, and objectives mutually identified during the first stage of the sales process; with solutions arrived at mutually; with the client totally involved; the client commitment to the solution typically occurs at the end of the presentation process. The commitment process in collaborative selling, when deemed appropriate, becomes “when,” not “if.”

FOLLOW-THROUGH

Another difference between collaborative selling and the traditional approach in terms of time and effort occurs in the follow-through process. The collaborative salesperson believes that the sale begins when the client says YES. At this point, the salesperson makes a commitment to the buyer to service and assist that client throughout their business relationship. The collaborative seller spends a lot of time at first establishing ways to be sure the service promised is the service provided.

Other sales techniques minimize this follow-through process. Of course, all salespeople keep in touch with customers, but so often the service concept is lost because of the stress on the product, not the client. And when a new sale is sought, the traditional salesperson has a lot to do that the collaborative salesperson needn’t do because the service and rapport is already established.

Satisfied customers are a salesperson’s greatest asset. They talk about the benefits they have derived from the product and the salesperson, and they often leave their listeners with a feeling that they, too, should buy from the same salesperson. Just as a satisfied customer becomes a source of future sales, a dissatisfied customer will prove to be a source of negative advertising and lost sales. Collaborative selling depends on long-term, trust bond relationships; and this is best accomplished through attentive after-sale service.

Correctly used, collaborative selling allows for information gathering in an open, honest atmosphere of trust and helpfulness. The client gains solutions to identified problems. The salesperson gains the support of a client who is fully committed to solving the identified problem. The collaborative salesperson deservedly feels pride in a rewarding sales profession.

Collaborative Selling will undoubtedly rattle the cages of traditional salespeople who rely predominantly on their speaking skills, objection-handling skills, and closing techniques to make the sale. It is meant to do that.

Collaborative Selling will disturb traditional sales managers and sales trainers who rely predominately on the hard sell. They may shun collaborative selling, thinking of it as a soft sell approach. If “soft sell” means that you run from the customer at the first sign of resistance, they are wrong. If “soft sell” means that you do not ask for the order, they are wrong. If “soft sell” means that you treat the customer with respect, communicate openly, and avoid sales when they are truly not in the best interest of the customer, they are right. Fortunately, for us, collaborative selling works better than the hard sell. Not only does it lead to more sales, but it makes people feel better about dealing with you and allows you to feel better about yourself and your occupation. These are the bottom-line benefits of collaborative selling!

Speakers Roundtable
516 Tennessee St., Suite 219,
Memphis, TN 38103
(901) 767-0000

 

© MMXIII Speakers Roundtable. All Rights Reserved.

Posted by: Su P AT 05:52 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Monday, June 06 2016
Life is too short to be mediocre

Stuck in a rut and believing this is as good as it gets?  So many of us, myself included, are all too frequently caught up, and stuck in a state of perpetual potential.  You know that state, where either consciously or unconsciously you are thinking “I could be ……..but…….”  It could also be described as being a dreamer - where you have, or had, wonderful intentions and plans but are not actually doing any action to get things happening and your feeling helpless and stuck.

Perhaps you have reached a crisis point in your life.  One where personally or professionally it is ‘make or break’ time.  Rather than feeling dejected, awareness of this state of mind and acknowledging it is a great start.  Life doesn’t get better with hope, it gets better with change.  So if what you are doing, or most likely what you are not doing, is not producing the results you say you seek - change something. Open your mind and yourself to the realm of possibility and explore what could be.

Don’t go getting all radical and change everything immediately - metaphorically throwing the baby out with the bathwater.  Take a good hard look at the way things are- no pretending, no hiding facts, and no blaming others – make this a real warts and all hard look.  What is working positively in your life right now – and what is not?  Is it that ‘not’ part that keeps you awake at night?  Do you allow the ‘not’ part to stay unchanged in your life because ‘that’s just the way it is’?

I shall put this into another perspective for you to consider.  Your motor vehicle- be it a car, ute, van, truck or 4 wheel drive, whatever – is running inefficiently.  In fact so inefficiently, as to being ineffective because it has actually conked out and let you down a couple of times.  Let me assume the potential of your motor vehicle – that by being reliable, and safe, it serves a multitude of purposes- personally for yourself or your family to schools, day trips and holidays or professionally for getting to work or carrying out a business.  Would you shrug your shoulders, effectively saying ‘that’s just the way it is’ and do nothing?  I agree that money could be an issue in addressing this particular problem.  So some exploring of possible ways around that would be necessary- as opposed to stating ‘can’t afford a mechanic’ and doing nothing.  For example, if neither you nor any of your mates are mechanically minded, what potential to post on the local Community noticeboard an exchange of services – you may be able to offer painting, ‘around the house’ repairs, lawn mowing, gardening, ironing, cooked meals or babysitting. 

So where in your life right now are you making excuses?  Consciously or unconsciously choosing to ignore any possibility for improvement – even though it may require nothing more complicated than to change your approach and the way you are thinking.  One big issue for many, for example, could be the realisation that now is that time in life when we can no longer blame our parents for the way we are as an adult.  Because now it all comes down to our own choices - not someone else’s choices ten, twenty, thirty or forty+ years ago…..  It’s OK to look at the past- just don’t stare at it.  Benefit from the experience, be thankful for the positive aspects, acknowledge and learn from the negatives, and then move on.  Leave it in the past where it belongs – none of that can be changed.  You can however change the way you choose to progress, and by realising and tapping into your own potential, to move forward.

I saw a great quote recently: “Tomorrow is the busiest day of the week”.  Don’t put off til tomorrow, what you can make a start on today.  Investigate adult education options if you dropped out of school- there is a vast range of type, style and budget available from community centres right through to online and mature age university courses.  In fact, libraries are free!  If reading presents a challenge due to eyesight issues, or your skills are not at a level where you feel comfortable exploring the wide range of offerings on the library shelves- discover audio books.  Use the library’s computers too if you do not have one at home.  Do yourself a favour and investigate.   The payoff will be improved self-esteem and a happier you - with a bonus which may just be better employability.

Ask for help should you need it.  There are services available whether you seek assistance personally or professionally – and my experience indicates that your personal issues will impact upon your business or professional life, in the same way that business/ professional issues impact upon personal lives.  Take responsibility for your life right now- be aware of the example you are setting to those around you- your children for example. 

Be responsible for 100% of all your actions and also 100% of your inactions.  If something is working well, do it again - often.  If something is not, then change it.  Life is too short for mediocre- to lay down in a rut and let life walk over you.  How would you want to be spoken about by those around you when it comes your time to leave this life?  I trust you will strive to always make a difference in some positive way, and remember it is not about size or the dollar value.

Whilst not all of us are destined for great wondrous works that change the world, never allow that to detract from aiming to be the very best that you can be and not stuck in a state of perpetual potential.

Posted by: Su P AT 04:31 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, December 17 2015

Stuck for a gift this Christmas?

For gift vouchers with a difference and give a gift that is like no other

Check out www.somuchpotential.com.au

Posted by: Su P AT 02:04 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, July 10 2015

Here is a very simple yet highly effective set of questions that are used to explore outcomes and consequences and the overall ecology of some decision.

When you, or someone else, are faced with making a decision, check out the effects, consequences and outcomes while exploring the overall ecology.

What

What

WILL happen

WON’T happen

if you

if you

DO 'X'

DO `X'

What

What

WILL happen

WON’T happen

if you

if you

DON’T 'X'

DON’T 'X'

Here are the four questions.

Ask them in the order presented.

After asking each one, ask

"And what else?"

What will happen if you do 'X'

What won't happen if you do 'X'

What will happen if you don't do 'X'

What won't happen if you don't do 'X'      

For Example:

My friend John said just a day or two ago "I want to quit my job and do something I really enjoy".

So I asked — "What will happen if you quit your job"

John Replied — "Feel very good, My wife will be angry, Work will be pissed off with me and I will think about doing something worthwhile."

"And what else?"

"There will be enough money to live on so I could do some retraining"

"And what else?" "Hmmmm"

"So John, What won't happen if you do quit your job?"

"What won't happen? I won't, we won't go on holiday this year, Sarah won't get her new car and I won't renew my sports subscription"

"And what else?"

"I won't feel miserable doing a worthless job, I won't listen to my incompetent boss"

"And what else?"

And so on and so forth, until you get the picture.               

This process is about exploration with rapport.

It's about asking the questions with genuine curiosity and facilitating an information gathering process

Posted by: SuP AT 07:25 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Wednesday, December 10 2014

Posted by: Su P AT 12:00 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, October 10 2014

"You do not lose your peace because of circumstances but because of the struggle you create in your mind between what you think should be and what really is.

To be accepting is not about being passive.

It is to be aware of reality and to start working from there." (Anon.)

Just as being happy is when your life conditions meet or exceed your expectations- being unhappy is when you or your life’s conditions don’t match your expectations.  Let me put that another way- when you or your life’s conditions don’t match your ‘shoulds’.  

You have choices:  Blame - An Event or Someone else or Yourself

Change your life condition/s – what it is you don’t like about your current state

                      or       Change your expectations, also known as your ‘shoulds’

I am overweight and unfit, I should be thinner – I don’t like my work, I should have a better job –  my finances are in a bad state, I should be better off – my kids don’t respect me, they should respect their  mother/ father.

You can continue to blame or you can change.

Life has its up and downs and one constant in life of which you can be certain is Change.  Something of an oxymoron really!  How you manage change to your best advantage is determined by whether or not you take hold of, and reinforce the belief in your own potential and set some goals in order to grow as an individual – and I place heavy emphasis on the term ‘individual’.

Realise and accept that there are aspects of life over which you have no control.  For example, other people and their behaviours, or global issues such as financial meltdowns - even the weather. 

So what is it you really seek right now?  Is NOW perhaps the time to re-evaluate what you thought ‘should be’? 

Are your core expectations a little faulty, perhaps unrealistic and needing some correction?  A readjustment of the “what you thought should be”, to what is truly achievable/ believable/ attainable and is right for You.

We all no doubt know at least one person who does ‘poor me’.  Invariably they run the same story of why they can’t or why they don’t do whatever it is they can’t or don’t do.  Because …blah de blah…..fill in the blanks.

Well guess what?  You move in the direction of what you consistently think about.  What you focus on is was you get- whether you want it or not!

A graphic example is ‘white line’ fever.  Driving on a dark highway- it is late at night, and you are starting to tire.  You fear you may drive off the road into a ditch or hit a tree, so you focus on the white line in the middle of the road.  Before too long you find yourself on the white line, or worse still, over it!  Picture yourself driving through a narrow tunnel - focus on the wall you want to avoid and you will find yourself veering toward the wall.  Instead, maintain your focus on the road ahead, toward the end of the tunnel which is your goal - successful transition through the tunnel.

The same principle applies to goals in life.  Focus clearly on where you are going and what you want to achieve.

As long as I can remember I have been fascinated by change.  How, in the face of adverse circumstances happening around us, or turbulence in life, some will flounder, many cope or survive and there are those who flourish.  These are the ones who make the choice to re-invent themselves - often more than once in their lifetime, whilst others remain stuck as if in a time warp- physically and mentally unable to move forward.  I have learned that when my back is to the wall, I can stay frozen in position, slide into a heap at the bottom of the wall, or take a step forward – no matter how small - and make a change.

Surely you cannot expect a different result if you keep on doing exactly the same thing?  An adjustment is needed.  In order to get a different result, change something!  Thomas Edison invented the light bulb but only after so many trials and failures and each time making a slight adjustment.  Most people would have given up – thankfully Edison didn’t.

So, where are you in your life?  Are you at the proverbial ‘fork in the road’?  Where up to now things have been OK, even great…………and now the “where to from here” or “how to” is presenting an issue for you?  What is holding you back?  Are you stuck?  Do you keep hitting ‘walls’?

Move forward from stuck. Realign your focus away from the walls.  SMP offers a process that will support you as you learn how.  Learn how you can and will achieve your personal or professional results or goals. Those goals specific to you!  Your potential is unlimited!  Imagine the things you can achieve!  Don’t focus anymore on what you cannot.
Learning how is the key................ To change the way you think, feel, act and react.  Let us take that first step with you now!

Su Pilkington

SMP So Much Potential inc Smile More Project

smp@somuchpotential.com.au                               

www.somuchpotential.com.au     www.smilemoreproject.com.au

 
Posted by: Su P AT 08:49 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, October 02 2014

In 2014, Mental Health Week will run from Sunday 5th to Saturday 11th October. 

World Mental Health Day is marked every year on the same date: 10th of October.

Mental Health Week aims to activate, educate and engage Victorians about mental health through a week of interactive events across the state including an official launch, community festivals, art exhibitions, music, theatre and seminars.

From its beginnings in 1985, the week has grown to encompass hundreds of events and a multitude of individuals, community groups and service providers.

Check out what is going on in your area

Posted by: SMP AT 06:52 pm   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
Email
Add to favorites
Site Mailing List 
People and Organisational Development - Change for positive growth

SMP: So Much Potential       ABN 31 383 825 236  
Phone: +61 3 9005 7079    +61 419 283363    
skype: supilkington

Create a Website Australia | DIY Website Builder