Sunday, October 15 2017
Now that’s a phrase wide open for misinterpretation.
Your immediate reaction could be to arc up. How dare you say that?
Who made you the boss of me?
Let’s reframe it then………….
Thoughts and memories are intertwined. The qualities of your thoughts will determine how they affect you. Positive and negative thoughts will impact upon your core beliefs - how you see and feel about yourself, your looks, your abilities and your life.
Think of your memories as an ever increasing library of movies- ones that play out in your mind often repeatedly.
Imagine a happy event that you play over and over – the replaying in full colour and sound will keep it to the forefront of your mind, as fresh as when it happened. There you are looking at it through your eyes, hearing in your mind the sounds, and feeling the emotions of that time. You will feel bliss, happy, smile, laughter- the positive effect will be felt in your mood and body.
And the exact same process applies to the negative, the not so nice. How often do we allow ourselves to be imprisoned by the chain of our thoughts? When people mentally suffer it is frequently manifested by feeling bad about the past. By keeping it fresh through regular repetition in vivid “3D” full cinema surround sound of ‘what I did’ or ‘he/she did or said’. Rather than having learned from the experience and letting it go.
Liken this to hiring a DVD. You get it home and put it on to the play only to discover that it is rubbish! So what do you do?
Do you watch it right to the end because you paid to hire it? Even though it is rubbish.
In fact, if it is a weekly hire- do you replay it again every night for the whole week- because you paid for a week’s hire? Even though it is rubbish.
Would you recommend a friend hire and watch it? Even though it is (still) rubbish.
Hopefully, the answer is that you would choose to not waste your time watching nonsense. That you would press the stop button- and take the DVD back to the video store making a mental note to yourself that this is one movie never to be revisited by you. That it can stay on the shelf out of sight and out of mind and gather dust for all you care.
Next time you find yourself running a well-worn memory movie script from the past in your head – stop, and make a note of how it affects you. How it makes you feel. How your emotions are effected. How you feel physically.
I’ve used the movie analogy- but perhaps you have an ‘audio’ memory- a voice that ‘tells’ you how things are, or should be, or are not and never can be. Whose voice is it telling you those things- a blast from the past perhaps that sets off your particular thought processes? Then again you may experience a feeling, an emotional reaction to a trigger of some sort- a sight, a sound or a touch that sets in progress a particular train of thought.
How is the continued repetition serving you? Is it beneficial- making you feel on top of the world – full of the incredible lightness of being?
Or feeling weighed down, tired and depressed with the going over and over of old stuff. You can’t change history but you can change your perspective and in doing so, the impact you experience.
Remember that if you always do what you always did- you will always get what you always got.
So do yourself a big favour. Start editing what memories and their ensuing thought processes warrant keeping, and especially the ones that do not!
Get over yourself.
Footnote: In no way do I mean to treat lightly or to downplay the impact upon those who have experienced downright horrific past events in their lives. The sheer anguish wrought by these events takes its toll yet can be softened, brought to heel, even ended, once a sufferer has decided that enough is enough and that now is the time to take control.