Thursday, September 07 2017
“You do not lose your peace because of circumstances but because of the struggle you create in your mind between what you think should be and what really is.
To be accepting is not about being passive.
It is to be aware of reality and to start working from there.” (Anon.)
Just as being happy is when your life conditions meet or exceed your expectations- being unhappy is when you or your life’s conditions don’t match your expectations. Let me put that another way- when you or your life’s conditions don’t match your ‘shoulds’.
You have choices: Blame - An Event or Someone else or Yourself
Change your life condition/s – what it is you don’t like about your current state
Change your expectations, also known as your ‘shoulds’
I am overweight and unfit, I should be thinner – I don’t like my work, I should have a better job – my finances are in a bad state, I should be better off – my kids don’t respect me, they should respect their mother/ father.
You can continue to blame or you can change.
Life has its up and downs and one constant in life of which you can be certain is Change. Something of an oxymoron really! How you manage change to your best advantage is determined by whether or not you take hold of, and reinforce the belief in your own potential and set some goals in order to grow as an individual – and I place heavy emphasis on the term ‘individual’.
Realise and accept that there are aspects of life over which you have no control. For example, other people and their behaviours, or global issues such as financial meltdowns - even the weather.
So what is it you really seek right now? Is NOW perhaps the time to re-evaluate what you thought ‘should be’?
Are your core expectations a little faulty, perhaps unrealistic and needing some correction? A readjustment of the “what you thought should be”, to what is truly achievable/ believable/ attainable and is right for You.
We all no doubt know at least one person who does ‘poor me’. Invariably they run the same story of why they can’t or why they don’t do whatever it is they can’t or don’t do. Because …blah de blah…..fill in the blanks.
Well guess what? You move in the direction of what you consistently think about. What you focus on is what you get- whether you want it or not!
A graphic example is ‘white line’ fever. Driving on a dark highway- it is late at night, and you are starting to tire. You fear you may drive off the road into a ditch or hit a tree, so you focus on the white line in the middle of the road. Before too long you find yourself on the white line, or worse still, over it! Picture yourself driving through a narrow tunnel - focus on the wall you want to avoid and you will find yourself veering toward the wall. Instead, maintain your focus on the road ahead, toward the end of the tunnel which is your goal - successful transition through the tunnel.
The same principle applies to goals in life. Focus clearly on where you are going and what you want to achieve. Realign your focus away from the walls. SMP offers a process that will support you as you learn how. Learn how you can and will achieve your personal or professional results or goals. Those goals specific to you!